Am I a sociopath

“I think I may be a sociopath. When my grandmother died I didn’t get upset. I don’t ever remember being happy. In high school I used to fake being angry because teenagers were always portrayed as such. I think I am asexual as well. I never have had a crush on anyone and I never have been in love. I never felt lust. I’ve attempted to masturbate a few times but I never really felt anything. The only emotions I remember are sorrow and fear. Only for myself though. Most of the time I feel nothing at all. I’m not content just numb. When I was 10 I stopped believing in god and I now believe that if I die, I will simply not exist. Non-existence scares me more than hell and is the only thing stopping me from taking my life.”
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