I won’t pretend to draw comparisons or drivel you with lengthy lectures or explanations about what a cuckold is. Most often, explanations regarding the cuckold stereotypes or subculture is an erotic construct to stoke the mind. It’s not meant to make you think but rather panned out as softcore entertainment.
This is a recollection of my thoughts on how I got hooked and a self-assessment on who I am as a person.
I am not a cuckold in the normal sense. By that, I mean that I do not live the lifestyle, but an active part of my imagination revolves around it. I never had these thoughts before, but I was drawn to the genre in the early 2000’s when I started reading related stories. I did not realize what I was stepping into. I only knew that I was drawn to it like a moth to fire. It was only after a couple of months into it that I first googled the term “cuckold stories”.
First, a few facts based on the readership of my blog. I have made about 39 posts on my blog and I hardly have any readership nor do I care. But after I published the stories, I have had a fair increase in readership. The majority of my readers are from the USA, in fact, there are 6 times as many readers in the US more than all the other countries combined. The UK, Canada, India and Australia trail behind. By the way, these numbers relate to just one blog post (A cuckold story). I haven’t considered the viewership of other blog posts. By extension, I assume that most of the readers are potential cuckolds
So, here is my interpretation of the results.
1. Primary viewership is white (All countries feature a predominantly white population except India). Hence most of the cuckolds are white
2. Because India is in the mix, I have to conclude that the readers are educated. (Because only educated folks in India has access to the internet.) Therefore cuckolds are generally educated and hence the general notion that cuckolding is an intellectual fetish
3. Majority of the cuckolds are probably Christian because the majority population of the countries listed identifies themselves as Christians
I am not sure if there is anything more to be inferred based on the stats.
If I were to consider myself as a representative of this statistic then I would add the following
4. Cuckolds generally have a low self-esteem but you will probably never see it being manifested in the regular life
5. Cuckolds are probably high functioning individuals in the office context
6. Cuckolds have likely gone through some form of traumatic experience in their childhood. ( Traumatic experiences doesn’t always translate to rape or abuse. It could simply be a case where they felt that they were ignored, snubbed or invalidated over a prolonged period of time)
7. Most cuckolds are married with kids but probably have a dysfunctional sex life
8. Most cuckolds have been exposed to pornography over a length of time
9. Cuckolds have a high sex drive but it’s mostly misdirected
10. They may have trouble communicating with their partners and probably has intimacy issues
If you are a cuckold (does not mean practicing) and any of this resonates with you, then say peeps 🙂
I personally do not understand why I am stuck with this fetish, but it spins through my head several times a day. No matter what porn I watch, I will always circle back to cuckold porn at the end of the day. I am not proud of it and I regret it every time after I am done. But within a day or two, I am back at it like clockwork.
What keeps me going is the humiliation aspect of cuckolding. When I read a cuckold story, I am immersed in the character of the protagonist. Not only do I find myself immersed, I also find myself being the voyeur, looking in; watching the clueless hubby squirm with stones churning in his stomach. The woman in the picture is not just any woman, it’s his beloved. It always has to be the “Beloved”; Therefore she can be replaced by any other ‘Beloved’ of the opposite sex, be it the mother, wife, sister or daughter. A stranger (Even if its a woman) would instead incite anger, violence, and fury of the cuckold. It’s not the bull who is in control of a cuckold husband. He suffers his betrayal at the hands of his beloved.
This is the crux of my fetish. I do understand that there could be a more manageable but healthy cuckold relationship, but I am not talking about reality. I live in the world of fantasy and I suspect that majority of the cuckolds live in this subspace. What I do know is that all of my shame, humiliation, low self-esteem is fetishized in my cuckold fantasies.
In the end, I do not understand my predicament. Just an average Joe trying to pick the pieces…